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Where Did the "Big Gestures" Go?

When did the table turn?

When did women feel that if they didn't step up & plan all the things, then things would never progress in a relationship?

When did it become okay that the last guy to get me flowers was my first boyfriend 15 years ago?... I don't even really like flowers, but that's besides the point! Somewhere along the way men got lazy. I'm sure all the guys reading this are now rolling their eyes (cue the head nods/eye rolls), but you probably have a girlfriend or wife & I'd love to hear when was the last time you made a "big gesture?"

Also the fact that I'm comparing "flowers" to "big gestures" proves my point that I'm not looking for a whole lot.

Now, it could be online dating culture...

Dates have become like ordering food on Postmates or grabbing an Uber. Only difference is you generally don't get what you ordered & have to worry about your safety - both health-wise & general safety. I'll say dating in my 20s was nothing like movies made it out to be - Disney taught me that I'd be a princess that men would come save, rom-coms taught me that there would be some turning point after the first tub of ice cream & the books said it would eventually all work out. But I'm still waiting for any of those things to be true..

So let's flip the tables for a second, when was the last thing you did to show someone you cared? I asked myself that question the other day & I realized that over the last 5 years I can think of many things I've done that people thought I was crazy to do for a guy, ie:

- Drove 12 hrs to see them

- Bought plane tickets

- Taken care of their house so they can focus on work

- Helped with countless projects for free

- Purchased tickets to things that were their favorite activities

- Planned parties

- Became an ultimate plant mom & figured out how revive what was once thought was rotted

- Baked their favorite dessert

...the list goes on & honestly these things make me happy because it's a way for me to show people I care.

I'm not trying to make a point of doing less on my end, but I've noticed that I've started holding back because the scale has been unbalanced. I like getting excited about things & showing how I feel - that should be the new normal in my opinion. But I didn't want to come off "too strong" or "too needy" or just too much so I held back; I don't want to agree with that sentiment anymore. That being said I've still come to terms that getting a "good morning" aaaannnd a"good night" text is a lot to ask of a guy, I've come to terms the fact they'll forget little tidbits I've said about myself... but I don't want that to be what's expected of men anymore. It would be great if I could find that Disney prince, but for now I'll shoot for the equivalent of bring me flowers.

With all that being said, what was the last "big gesture" you made? Is there something you could do in the next week (whether it's for a friend or a loved one)? I think if we could bring back a little bit of that movie magic to our every day lives, then maybe men would step up & not think it's okay to not even send a text & women wouldn't have to worry about coming on too strong.

What do you think?

xx Grae


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